What I don’t understand today are ambiguous deodorant names. I went to my local Meijer store several weeks ago and perused the aisles just to get a handle on what companies like Old Spice and Adidas are trying to communicate with these names. I’ve decided that they:
1. …are largely trying to capture a sentiment. I get that. I understand that a high-school senior might think the best underarm protection for him–especially during football season–would be something called, “Game Day.” But how, exactly, does that describe the scent?? It doesn’t. Game Day means grass, sweat, dirt, and potentially a bloody nose or torn ACL.
Old Spice and Adidas scents that fit this category: Swagger [?!], Showtime, Pure Sport, After Hours [again…what?!], Control, Pure, Intensive, Sport Fever [should not remind you of the SNL “Da Bears” skit, I hope. Because that would mean it smells like obese men smoking cigars and sweating on a basement couch with a bucket of chicken wings.]
2. They are trying to sell something you long for, usually relating to freedom in nature. Case in point: Aqua Reef. Seriously, a reef smells like shark poo and salt. Is that what they’re selling me?? Others I’m putting in this category are: Pacific Surge, Arctic Force, Fresh Blast, Mountain Fresh, etc.
Lastly, in this vein, I’ll discuss a candle name I came across on our beloved trip to the casino this past October. Sure, maybe it is a challenge to come up with appropriate and inspiring fragrance titles for candles, but tell me. Does “Denim Breeze” [in a casino, mind you] make you want to hand over $18 to have your house smell like DENIM?
“Denim Breeze” says to me:
1. …stinky, smoky Toughskins in which a truck driver regularly farts
2. …jeans drying on the clothesline–maybe?? Although “denim” doesn’t evoke anything cozy and romantic like “Linen Breeze” would. It’s a kindergarten teacher’s jumper. An unfortunate basement sectional. 1980’s decor. Bad.
3. …again, it’s too close to wind, as in passing it. Through your demin.
I’d love to hear your favorite ambiguous scent names! Make shopping more fun by scouting out the ridiculous and reporting back 🙂 Share them here or post them on my Facebook page.