Peanuts in the Morning

Do you remember the sound of Charlie Brown‘s teacher on The Peanuts? She had that muffled “whaa-whaa-whaa” of an expertly muted trumpet combined with some sort of nasally resonance never before heard on earth–much less in a classroom. How Linus ever managed to do anything beyond “pound erasers” is beyond me.

Which brings me to our home this morning. It seems I must sound like the Peanuts teacher to my kids. I see them stare blankly into my eyes, their gaze hollow and questioning. I swear they see my mouth moving and may even note a waving hand or pointing finger. What they don’t seem to capture, however, are any of the things that come tumbling out of my mouth before 8:30 in the morning.

“What?…get dressed? What are you talking about?!”

“Huh? Hurry up? What for?”

“Brush my teeth? I did that before bed last night!”

Well, ok…they really didn’t say those things, but they may as well have. Instead of saying those things they:

1. Did not get dressed [or run an ever-loving comb through their ever-loving hair]

2. Did not hurry up [missed the ever-loving BUS]

3. Did brush their teeth, but also managed to drop the toothpaste on the floor [awesome]

Friends, what’s up with the pre-bus stop disconnect? Why–in February mind you–is it so fantastically difficult to get buttons fastened and socks on feet? How long does it really take to suit up in snow gear–and should I clock this task in minutes or hours?

Tomorrow, instead of fighting and going crazy in my head, maybe I’ll just look at them and express, in all candor, my true feelings:

“WHAA WHAA WHAA.”

I promise: they won’t know the difference.

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This entry was posted in CRAZY kids, Discipline Issues, Family, Home, Kids, Motherhood/Mommy Duties, Random Fun, Rants, Seasons of Life, Silly Lists, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Peanuts in the Morning

  1. Diane says:

    I don’t know whether to laugh or cry with you!

    Some time ago I was in a waiting room reading a magazine….”Real Simple,” I think. Anyway…there were several moms who used kitchen timers (rather than their mouths) in the morning to get their kids on task….and they loved it….and it placed the responsibility on the kids….and made mom happier and with more hair.

    Just a thought!

  2. sara suidinski says:

    Jane, I always love reading your truths! :). I think I may have kurt read this one, too. I think he is convinced we have the only children on earth who act like that!

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