It seems this blog has become my own private confessional. Be warned: you are all priests and I expect absolution at the end of this post.
I regret to inform you, as I’ve regretted admitting to myself, that I’m living in a land of prepositions. My favorite of the moment appears to be about.
I have a mental list of things I should be doing. I spend considerable time thinking about them. Planning to someday do them. Lately I’ve been fairly convinced that if I just had a pretty bulletin board with artsy magnets and textured paper to “organize” my goals, then I’d do them, without a doubt. I’d have various sections for all the flotsam wandering around in my brain; there would be bright colors and curliques and meaningful doodles. And surely, then my prepositions would turn to verbs and I’d actually accomplish something!
Here’s my list on its virtual bulletin board:
1. [This section would be pink and would include paper with scalloped edges.] I spend a lot of time thinking about writing a book or an article, but I know that I am not doing the hard work it will take for that to happen. For real, Jane–just post something on this blog more than once a week! Get out there and “Make it work!” I’m sure that if I had an office designed by Nate Berkus that I positively loved and wanted to cry with joy at the sight of it, I certainly would not have this struggle.
2. [Green paper donning a work-out chart] Run another 5K this spring. I think about that. I also think about actually running anywhere right now and quickly slap my own face and put myself in time-out. On the couch. With the remote. My excuse: It’s too cold and I’m barely subsisting on root vegetables. The only way I’m running is if Richard Simmons himself shows up and threatens to impose his hairdo on my scalp.
3. [Light blue for “to-do” lists] I need to wake up earlier. I would get a lot more done. Because clearly, I can’t even keep cobwebs out of our Christmas tree or laundry from forming its own continent on our dining room table. I think about these things while I’m lying in bed, convincing myself that it’s so much more “worth it” to pass another 20 minutes on high-thread-count sheets than to get up and stare at my dirty toilet. After all, my brain tells me, a rested mama is a happy mama, so ‘you’re really doing your family a favor.’ I love my talking brain.
4. [Yellow: books I want to read, those I have read this year, and my prayer list] I need to spend more time reading and praying. Period. Why is this hard? This is hard because People Magazine exists and has taken up residence in our home. This is also hard because I like to check my email and facebook page, and there seems to be a strange magnetic pull between my body and this computer.
OK. That’s it.
Even though it’s more than a little humbling to reveal my shortcomings to the faceless world of cyberspace, I’m clinging to the theory that if I write them down, I’ll somehow be held accountable to taking positive steps away from prepositions and toward VERBS.
So I’m curious: do you have a virtual bulletin board?
What’s on yours for 2010?