Last week my daughter decided to use her long-saved-up birthday money to buy a new doll at Costco. Maybe you’ve seen them? They’re adorable American Girl look-alikes at about a quarter of the cost…which only makes them more adorable.
Of course A wanted to unpack her doll in the van as we were driving home, which I allowed, but she quickly found to be impossible. The amount of tape and wire twisty-ties and bolts and chains and alarm systems is simply out. of. control.
Let’s examine this flotsam of ridiculousness in photo #1:
Friends, this is only a partial box of all the things they use to tie this poor doll down to her death. I guess they would say that this is to prevent stealing [?] while in the store? Perhaps they worry that a child, or worse, her parent, would try to remove the doll from the box while in the store? This is silly. I just can’t imagine a thief taking the time to remove a doll from a box while standing in the toy aisle. Can me naiive, but wouldn’t the thief just take the box?
This begs the question: why all the hocus pocus packaging?? You practically need to be a surgeon to open it and successfully remove the doll.
Sadly, once the doll is freed from her chains, her trials are not over.
Please examine photo #2:
Yes. Some ya-hoo thought it would be a super idea to sew her hair together. Please tell me–what does this accomplish?! And how in the heck is a 6 year old supposed to free her once-beautiful, now tangled mass from this plastic…thing?!
The answer is, she’s not supposed to. That’s her mom’s job.
And I guess the 20 minutes I spent with a seam-ripper is only good practice for Christmas.
Hurry and get your advanced degree before the holidays; you’ll need it to open your child’s toys.