Husbands in Costco

Usually when I go to Costco I have my list of “necessities” ready to go; you know, like cheese, milk, cereal, bread…fondue set?? Just kidding about the fondue set.  But I am always amazed at how many things I end up coming home with that I didn’t even know I “needed.”  Like their gourmet chocolate chunk cookies.

Oh.

My.

Word.

I knew it was a mistake to buy them.  First of all, yes–maybe you do get two dozen, but they’re over $6 for a plastic container which I’m sure 80% of cookie buyers never even recycle.  Secondly, they are addicting.  It takes an inordinate amount of self-control for me to walk away after having only, say, four cookies.  I’m not even going to TELL YOU how many days this container *doesn’t* last in our house!  My kids grab them three at a time and offer them to their friends and I sneak them into the laundry room and then they’re done.  Am I the only one willing to admit that cookies eaten in secret are really good? Maybe I have a problem.

Ironically, this post really isn’t even about cookies, and all these rabbit trails are further evidence that my brain is literally collapsing under its own weight!  Next time the alzheimer’s commercials come on TV I need to pay better attention.

What I actually wanted to tell (all 10 of my loyal readers), is something funny that happened yesterday at our favorite warehouse supercenter.  We’d just returned from a two-week vacation and as you can guess, our cupboards were bare.   When our kids started asking for chicken in a biskit crackers with a side of raisins for breakfast, I knew something had to be done–soon.   Costco and Meijer seemed to be logical destinations.

As we wheeled feriously through the crowds (NOTE TO SELF:  avoid Costco on Friday night!  All the cool people are there and it’s PACKED!…Sadly, I’m completely serious), I found myself asking my kids and husband to “Grab a thing of that cheese…Go pick out some bread…We need more hot dogs.”  As my dear helper-husband reached for the hot dogs, which, as any warehouse shopper knows, come in a pack of three, he verified the kind we buy, and then  attempted to rip the bundle apart.

I heard a sound behind me that my ears vaguely identified as tearing paper, and turned, mortified, to find him struggling with the bundle.

“Brandon!  What are you doing?!”

“We only need one pack, right?!”

“It’s COSTCO!  Everything comes in bulk!”

We locked eyes and crumpled into laughter.  I mean, really, who goes to Costco to buy only one pack of hot dogs?  And even if you do want only one pack…do you really stand there and try to tear a package apart? He knew instantly how ridiculous he looked, and I thought that it was the latest in my long list of reasons why it’s easier for moms to shop alone.

Can I get an AMEN?!

PS: There’s a coupon for the cookies in this month’s Costco mailer 🙂  I dare you.


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4 Responses to Husbands in Costco

  1. kamarah says:

    Hilarious!!!!

  2. Lyndsey says:

    My husband’s personal fave is when i send HIM to the store and then he wants me to walk him thru the ENTIRE store (and shopping list) over the phone. It’s like he becomes brain dead (and flaming mad) when he has to find more than two items….SEEEERRIOSLY….you saw how well that went over when you were out here:)

  3. Gretchen says:

    That is awesome! It reminds me of Steve Martin in “Father of the Bride” (going back several years) when he rips apart the hot dog package because he only wanted 8 buns. Derek and I were rolling with laughter at the thought of Brandon tearing a package apart. Thanks for sharing!

    • heartscape says:

      Gretchen-it’s funny you mention that because someone else told me the same thing! Makes me want to watch Father of the Bride again 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it!

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