LinkedIn password change confirmation

LinkedIn Hi Andy, You’ve successfully changed your password. Thank you, The LinkedIn Team This email was intended for Andy Losik. Learn why we included this. © 2012, LinkedIn Corporation. 2029 Stierlin Ct. Mountain View, CA 94043, USA

Reset Your LinkedIn Password

LinkedIn Hi Andy, Changing your password is simple. Please use the link below within 24 hours. https://www.linkedin.com/e/rpw/13684353/?hs=true&tok=0FN9nsG8zkPlk1 Thank you, The LinkedIn Team This email was intended for Andy Losik. Learn why we included this. © 2012, LinkedIn Corporation. 2029 Stierlin Ct. Mountain View, CA 94043, USA

On to Bigger and Better things!!

Friends and Faithful Readers!!

I write this with a sliver of sadness… but an overwhelming sense of purpose and hope. After two years of calling this place home, I’ve started a NEW BLOG called “Girl Meets Paper” which I hope will better capture my writing in a professional arena. Today’s post can be found HERE.

You should also know that from now on, all my family ideas will be separated out and posted on my second blog, “The Unofficial Homeschooler.“

I hope you’ll visit both and that they would be an encouragement to you in your busy life. Whether it’s a quiet, thoughtful moment at www.girlmeetspaper.com or a burst of creativity at www.unofficialhomeschooler.com, my prayer is that you would find something relevant and helpful that ultimately gives glory to God and makes you want to share it with a friend!

Hope to see you at both of my new homes! Your readership is an encouragement to me!

A NEW PLACE TO SHARE!

Friends, it is going to be an exciting week around here! 

Today I’d like to invite you to visit my new blog, The Unofficial Homeschooler. This is the place where, from now on, I’ll be sharing creative ideas to try at home with your kids, parenting perspectives, and thoughts on life as your child’s first teacher.

Please click over and take a look at it! BELIEVE ME…it has been a royal pain in the buttocks real labor of love

Additionally, I’ll be announcing another new project later this week! Can’t wait to open “door #2″ and share it!

O Sacred Head Now Wounded

Not many songs bring me closer to the cross than this ancient hymn penned by a shrouded, unknown figure and set to music sometime in around 1600. Bach himself composed the harmony, but the text is what tears at my heart. Thought to have been based somewhat on a poem by Bernard of Clairvaux, the intensely personal nature of the words calls each of us to examine the cross and its implications for our faith, our life.

The final verse begs, “What language shall I borrow, to thank thee dearest friend…Lord let me never, never…outlive my love to Thee.”  If I’m honest I wonder:

• Is Christ truly my dearest friend?
• Do I feel a loss for words–that language is inept or even incapable of expressing my gratitude?
• Is my first and foremost desire to never outlive my love for Jesus?

Fernando Ortega’s version of this song has long been one of my favorites; I’m including it today to speak into the quiet somber of Saturday. The Saturday that has to come before the joy of Sunday. O Sacred Head Now Wounded, by Fernando Ortega

        O sacred Head, now wounded,
	with grief and shame weighed down,
	now scornfully surrounded
	with thorns, thine only crown:
	how pale thou art with anguish,
	with sore abuse and scorn!
	How does that visage languish
	which once was bright as morn! 

	What thou, my Lord, has suffered
	was all for sinners' gain;
	mine, mine was the transgression,
	but thine the deadly pain.
	Lo, here I fall, my Savior!
	'Tis I deserve thy place;
	look on me with thy favor,
	vouchsafe to me thy grace. 

	What language shall I borrow
	to thank thee, dearest friend,
	for this thy dying sorrow,
	thy pity without end?
	O make me thine forever;
	and should I fainting be,
	Lord, let me never, never
	outlive my love for thee.

Pro Kadima Invasion

Well, the game that was meant to be played while shuffling through powdery sand slathered in Panama Jack sunscreen has hit our living room.

Pro Kadima is a ping-pongy game played with large wooden paddles and a hard foam ball. We don’t actually boast any knowledge of the official rules, so when we play we just set some volley goals and cross our fingers.

Today my youngest son, “M” begged pathetically for me to disregard dinner preparation and flee to the carpet for some “hitting.” Carefully positioning our two ottomans as a dividing line–or net, I supose–we went to work, counting aloud with each hit.

Not that it was that difficult to count to 2. 

Or 3.

In case you don’t know, maintaining a volley with a five-year-old is a bit of an undertaking. His forehand swings tend to land on the fireplace mantle or smack into one of our new lamps. I especially love those.  The backhand attempts generally sail off the tip of the paddle and land…in another room.

But all in good fun, right? [insert shoulder shrug and tedious smile]

Of course it’s all ratcheted up several notches when my husband gets home. Brandon imagines that a match-up with me carries the weight of winning the gold medal or preventing the sky from falling.

He loosened the collar on his dress shirt and sank into position, swaying back and forth like Agassi in pinstriped pants. At this point I’m already laughing.

“C’mon now. This is serious!” he exhorts. “Let’s get to 20!”

With the kids enjoying the hand-to-hand combat, we began, their heads bobbing left-to-right and back again.

“13, 14, 15…D’OH!!”  Nuts. “We” missed. [a-hem...]

“Let’s try again. SERIOUSLY Jane! Be for real! We’ve got to get this!” [read: the fate of the world rests in this pseudo-Pro Kadima match that he's playing in dress clothes and without rules].

“15, 16, 17, 18…” Missed again. Rats.

“Jane! What time is it?! We have to get this before I leave!” he pleaded. “Ahh!” He lets out an exasperated scream–the kind that you’d allow yourself after shopping online for an hour, only to find your cart wiped clean just as you’re ready to buy everything.

I, of course, start laughing at his genuine effort and the pain he’s enduring over the fact that we can’t quite seem to pile up enough hits to make the 20 mark. After the next miss Brandon screams again. Literally screams…kind of like this.

At this point my stomach nearly hurts and I’m laughing so hard I can’t imagine doing anything 20 times in a row except maybe tinkling in my pants or rolling on the floor like a rabid critter trying to scratch its back.

Well, you’ll be relieved to know that we made the 20-hit mark, as evidenced by the sky not falling and us sporting genuine imaginary gold medals. And everybody knows that when a Pro Kadima invasion hits the living room, those are the best kind.

What do you do for comic relief in your home? What are ideas for quick family fun?

[full crack-up chicken story here] 

[beach photo credit]

Pippi Longstocking and Praise Dancing

I saw him twirling out of the corner of my eye.

On the table, in socks, arms raised like a praise dancer. 

I opened my mouth to tell him to get off, but the words got stuck. Why not let him spin? I thought. It’s not like he could break the table!  

Instead, I watched in silence.

Soon enough the praise dancing stopped and he sat down with a pile of baseball cards. Diligently arranging them and sliding from right to left, he worked to line up his favorites.

I’m not sure if I did the right thing by allowing him to stay there, but for today I decided to enjoy his whimsy and smallness instead of examining rules.

Pippi Longstocking would certainly approve.

What?!

Do you ever overlook the rules when it comes to moments of innocent play? Share an example by leaving a comment below:

The Lure Of What I Don’t Have: A Confession

It’s been twenty months…twenty months…since I’ve really let myself trip, stumble, and generally get all out of sorts over stupid things.

Well, let’s be honest: it’s been twenty months since I’ve decided to tell you about it.

This Lent I gave up shopping at three of my favorite places: Costco [where each item deposited in your cart is about $10], Target [where you want to spend about $10 but easily dole out $210], and the mall [where you skip the math and get out the plastic].

Five weeks later, I think all this non-shopping has started to catch up with me. I fear I may have developed a few ticks and eye twitches during this off-season, something that has only worsened as I peruse the latest Crate & Barrel catalog and faithfully dog ear every-0ther-page [as if I really could buy all these things if I wanted, but it's just a matter of locating my purse that's stopping me].

Sheez.

I’ll admit it: I look around and still love this house, but I’m starting to see the flaws more than the smile lines. I’m wishing for new countertops…and an ice maker in a fridge with a little more consistency than the slacker we have now. I can imagine a new backsplash with glossy subway tiles like you see on Dear Genevieve. I can effortlessly imagine away our stained carpet and replace it with the gleam of wall-to-wall hickory floors.

I know this discontent is shallow and worthless and completely without perspective. I know that the “Finley Pendant Lamp” I’d like above our dining room table isn’t going to make me happy, give me a flat stomach, make me funnier, or help me be a better friend. [Although I would like to argue that it would make our dinners a lot more stylish].

So why this lure? Why so many dog-eared pages?

I think I’m fooled into believing that if I own the Stoneware Potluck Bakers in “Paprika, Turquoise, and Yellow” that I’ll actually bake tasty dinners. And possibly be invited to potlucks.

I’m fooled into thinking that if I have the vases on page 18, I really will make more of an effort to arrange cut flowers weekly. Maybe even start a garden.

I’m drawn into this world of order, cleanliness, and new possibilities–as though an office desk equals a book contract or a chaise lounge equals the freedom to…lounge.

I’m drawn into thinking that these things would give me what I want and what I think I need.

And so this cycle of mental wrestling and pseudo-shopping bring me back to Lent–back to the reason I’m not shopping and back to the reason why I shouldn’t even be looking at catalogs: because during this season of preparation, I need to work on my heart.  Work on desires that aren’t evil or sinful in themselves, but that give birth to so much more than I want floating around in my brain.

Balancing these things and staying twitch-free is something I’ll probably never master. For some it’s food and others it’s cigarettes and still others, alcohol. For me, this year, it’s Crate & Barrel.

But always, there’s the promise of grace. And this Lent, I’m realizing just how much I need it.

~

What are you learning about yourself this Lent? How are you being stretched or changed?

The Scrambled States of America

If you want to teach your gang geography, encourage them to value travel and well…possess the general knowledge that a reference to ”Washington” does not necessarily denote a conversation about our first president…then you’ll appreciate The Scrambled States of America, by Laurie Keller.

I first stumbled upon this gem in one of my many self-indulgent rendezvous to Hallmark. Drawn in by the fantastic illustrations and novel storyline, it became plain that I would actually be doing my kids a disservice by foregoing a purchase.

I mean, it’s educational, right?

In Keller’s imaginative world of changing geography, Kansas decides he’s tired of being surrounding by the same dull states, without water, and stuck in a wide expanse of flatness. So, he proposes swapping spots with another state and eventually extends the invitation to the entire nation at an evening potluck. [Wisconsin contributed cheese...can you guess what Idaho brought?]

After the states flee their old friends and neighbors in the name of newness and adventure, they quickly find that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the Mason Dixon Line. Minnesota gets sunburned when he flip-flops with Florida, and Kansas ends up bobbing in the Pacific when Hawaii signs up for a switcheroo. Should they stay? Should they go?

The Scrambled States of America is a silly page-turner that will keep you captivated until it’s all settled. Humorous comic-like captions let you in on the private thoughts of the states, and Uncle Sam serves as narrator.

If you’re wondering how you can introduce basic geography to your kids, pick up a copy! It will remind them that there’s more to “Washington” than cherry trees or wooden dentures.

What’s your latest and greatest children’s picture book? Why do you like it?

{photo credits: Thank you, Photography by Kamarah!}

Ten Reasons I’ve Been MIA

It’s been awhile since I’ve gone ten days without a blog post! For you hangers-on, here are ten reasons for my absence:

1. We went to Florida for Spring Break, and in some comically-timed [or divinely ordained] sequence of events, I was completely without internet! Don’t worry, the shaking stopped after a detoxing a few days here:

 

Spring Break 2011

2. I was quite busy pretending to know how to fish:

3. Shell hunting with my daughter was a delightful priority:

4.  …and of course our shells weren’t going to organize themselves!

5. I was with the people I love most at one of our most-loved places:

6.  We were preoccupied with frozen confections and broad smiles:

7. My feet were intoxicated by the luxuriously warm water for hours on end:

8.  I had a nightly cheerleading gig at low tide for my skim-boarding boys:

9.  Watching wildlife is nearly a full-time job on the island:

 

3 wild manatees close enough for my son to touch! Right off our beach…

10. And really…who can think of computers with God on display like this??  Our nightly walk on the beach:

So what have you been up to? What small moments are you treasuring?

Family Friday: Supporting Adoptive Families

Thanks to "Photography by Kamarah!'

Ever since my husband and I went to Zambia, Africa in 2004, my heart has remained softened to the hearts and faces of countless orphans awaiting families to call their own. And while the Lord first imprinted my heart on that faraway continent, adoption touches me regardless of the child’s birthplace. Little can compare so perfectly to the love of God adopting us as heirs, as the love of earthly parents expanding the boundaries of their families.

When I first heard that my daughter’s teacher and her husband were working on her own adoption dream, I stood amazed at her resolve to extend unconditional love and acceptance to a child–or children–whom she had never met. What trust in God’s sovereign plan!

Last month she and another adoptive family were the prayer focus of our home. This month we stepped out a bit further to support their adoption fund by purchasing these super-cute T-shirts! You can’t see mine [navy] in the photo, but my daughter’s [black] has quickly become one of her favorites!

If you’d like to help bring this good work to completion, hop over to her blog and check them out!

If you’re a family who has walked this path, what creative ways did you use to help fund the process? Did anyone step forward to assist you?

A New Kind Of Chore Chart [and a Freebie for you!]

Moms, if you’re anything like me you’re always trying to figure out new ways to motivate your kids to help, hold them accountable, and land on an appropriate reward or compensation.

• Do we pay an allowance?
• Do kids work on commission?
• What is/is not the expected contribution merely as a member of this family?
• When must chores be completed and to whose standards?
• When is it worth a battle…and when is it not?

We’ve gone round and round with these questions, trying several approaches. To be honest, most of the failing is due to our own inconsistency in enforcing the rules. There have been times I’ve “owed” our kids money, but I don’t have cash in the house…so the reward of being paid for work completed is a bit diminished when they have to wait for payday.

Other times we’ve failed out of sheer busyness. We used to be absolutely firm in starting Saturday mornings with chores [and I had an entire system for that], however with sports and church activities and a crazy husband, Saturday mornings have proven tricky. Maybe once school’s out we’ll give it another go.

Until then, I have a new kind of chore chart which will hopefully prove helpful even with little ones who don’t read. If you’re a Mac user, you should be able to click, drag, and print. If that doesn’t work or if you’re a PC user, feel free to email me and I’ll be happy to send you the PDF.

ALLOW ME TO POINT OUT A FEW FEATURES:

1. There is a place on this chore chart for the name of the child assigned these particular chores and place for your child to state a weekly goal [i.e: to complete 3 days in a row, 4 days total, all chores, etc.]
2. Write down when chores should be completed by in order to earn the corresponding money [i.e: completed before school, by dinner, before bedtime]
3. $ Earned is where you write down the grand total earned for that week by that particular child
4. Assign each chore a value–but be creative! We’ll be paying our children cash, but perhaps yours are more motivated by a special dessert after supper, a night at the library, a date with grandma, or a video rental. You get to decide!
5. Checkboxes to indicate completion and approval by mom and dad: yes if they pass, no if they don’t…just like that note you passed to your boyfriend in junior high
6. LASTLY, use the empty boxes to either DRAW the chore [for young workers] or write the words [for older workers]. For an even greater brain-based learning experience, have your child draw the chore!

I would love to journey through this with you! Please leave a comment and let me know if this chart has been at all helpful…or if you have suggestions for how to improve it, I’d love to hear them!

 

5 Easy Ways To Use Notes With Your Kids

I’ve told you before that I love paper in all forms. In fact, next month I’m looking forward to a blog makeover, and my name will change to Girl Meets Paper to reflect my love of writing–and because I use so many printed charts, calendars, flash cards and report cards while I “unofficially homeschool” my kids [more on this later].

Paper is my friend in any form: card, canvas, notes, or napkins–anything that will sacrifice itself to be a carrier of sentiment and feeling. I would also argue that because few people take the time to handwrite letters anymore, when someone does take a few moments to express love, gratitude, and affection, it is special.

Which brings me today: 5 Easy Ways to Use Notes With Your Kids.

1. The United States Postal Service: Last fall my husband and I went on vacation without the kids, and I knew that by day 3 our children would be missing us. So before we left I bought some Hallmark Kids’s cards and wrote a little note in each one, and then asked my neighbor to mail them for me so they would arrive at Grandma’s house during our absence. Even if you’re not separated from your family, imagine their joy to go to the mailbox and see something from YOU…instead of another American Girl catalog.

2. Lunch Notes: Of course any scrap of paper will work here, but I recommend THESE for a cute burst of love in your little one’s lunch pail. They’re adorable, they’re easy, they’re small, and even if your third grader acts too old to receive them, he secretly loves knowing his mama is thinking about him. I guarantee it.

Thanks to "Photography By Kamarah"!

3. Notepads: I think my obsession with paper is a genetic trait that’s been passed down to my daughter. So imagine my delight when I found this cool stack of color at Staples for just $2! I bought them and used it as an opportunity to leave her a note after school. Maybe you could do the same?

4. Stickies on the Mirror: Why not let your kids discover something special from you while they brush their teeth in the morning? Some ideas:

• an encouraging Bible verse for the day
• “I was so proud of you when…”
• “Have I ever told you that…”
• “You make me laugh when you…”

5. Mail Monday! Last year as part of our family Valentine’s day fiesta I gave each of the kids a mini mailbox with their name on it–the kind from the ‘dollar spot at Target. They are red and cute and have an actual working flag to indicate new mail. Our tradition here is “Mail Monday.” Though I’ve fallen off the wagon recently, generally speaking our kids receive a card or note from me every Monday morning. It’s nothing extravagant or fancy, but in it I express something I appreciate, love, cherish, treasure about them; a simple way to start the week together!

So how do you communicate with your little ones? Do you have a great idea to share?

…and if this post was helpful to you, would you please pass it along to another mom who might enjoy it?

Great Minds and Lost Souls

Photo credit: darleneanitascott.wordpress.com

Last month our family swam through years of history together, dodging slave traders and rabid dogs courtesy of the pages of a Harriet Tubman biography. We spent evenings imagining how cold and frightening it would have been to slink through southern swamps guided only by tree moss and the North Star. We talked about the courage possessed by Underground Railroad travelers, and marveled at the unflinching tenacity of Harriet, “the Moses of her people.”

Shortly after completing the book with our family, I happened upon that wonderful ancestry show, Who Do You Think You Are? The episode I caught featured Lionel Ritchie searching for his origins in the South. At one point he was led to an old cemetery, a scrap of land littered with leaves and stray roots, and not a respectable headstone to be found among the fauna. The guide with Lionel explained that one of his relatives had been buried here, in this slave cemetery, though no one could say exactly where the remains rested.

Breathing in and out slowly, clearly seeking to steady his own emotions, Mr. Ritchie was left alone to consider his heritage. As the camera panned out and away, leaving his black-cloaked figure nearly silhouetted against the autumn branches, I felt the heaviness of his journey. And in that moment it crystalized:

Imagine for a moment all the souls lost to the evil, greedy, heartless enterprise of slavery.

Attempt to fathom the great minds never used. Ignored. Wiped out.

Stop to ponder what would have been the fate of Lionel Ritchie…if born in another time, on another intersection of latitude and longitude.

Even those of you who aren’t signing up for an autographed copy of Dancing on the Ceiling can surely appreciate the mind and sprawling talent of a man whose career spans four decades–a man whose life would have been completely different under the tent of slavery.

And dear Harriet–savior and protector of so many souls–God surely placed her in that time and space for a divine purpose. Yet, I can’t help but re-imagine a life for her free from the oppression and injustice she endured. Free from dogs biting at her heels and the angry growl of an empty stomach in the night. Free from hiding in corn cribs and under piles of hay and carrying a revolver around her waist.

Free from prejudice and hatred.

Reflecting on these things reminds me of the great call we have to be light and love to those around us and to teach our children to look past the thin veil of skin.

And hair and height and weight, for that matter.

Paul writes these famous words in Galations, ²⁸ There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. ²⁹ If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

We are all one in Christ Jesus.

We are all one.

OWL MOON Winner!

By Jane Yolen, Caldecott Winner

My, My! What astute readers have I!

Last week Friday I shared a fun family idea and opened a contest to those of you who could correctly identify the name of the audio book our family listened to.

All entrants guessed correctly, and the winner is: #3–

LYNDSEY DYKSTRA!!

Congrats, Lynds… and thanks for playing! Your new book will be in the mail shortly!

True Random Number Generator

Min: 1 Max: 4

Result: 3

Powered by RANDOM.ORG

Family Friday: I Don’t Homeschool, BUT…

I don’t officially homeschool our kids.

Sadly, my patience is usually gone after the PB & J hits the counter at lunchtime, and keeping the kids focused on anything longer than an hour generally requires some form of sugar or technology.  Or Benedryl.

Ok, it’s not that bad, but you get the idea.

Still, I am passionate about infusing learning opportunities into everyday life and finding fun, meaningful things to do together.

So I guess you could say that I unofficially homeschool our kids.

One of the ways we’ve brought school into the everyday is to transform our kitchen wall into a learning center. We have four clocks representing the four time zones of the contiguous United States, labeled according to locations where friends live. Having these clocks in the midst of our busy traffic space allows us to see immediately what time it is in Washington or Chicago or Montana. It helps us judge the best time for phone calls and for figuring out if so-and-so is eating dinner.

We also took a cue from the beloved classic Sleepless in Seattle, and hung a US map below the clocks. This map is special in that it is laminated and came with red pins to indicate our family travels. It’s fun to return home from trips and get out the Vis-a-Vis marker to chart our paths together. Lord willing, I’m hoping this map will look like a spider web on steroids by the time our kids leave the nest!

We refer to our map every day when we read the news, hear of others’ vacations, or learn the attributes of other states. Our kids have a running list of places they’d like to visit, with our youngest declaring his goal to go to all fifty states!

My sister and friends who homeschool all tell me that it’s really “a way of life.” I get that. And you know what? Based on what God says in Deuteronomy 6, I actually think it’s his idea to weave teaching into your daily life.

If you agree, then I officially declare you an “unofficial” homeschooler.

Start in the kitchen.  Benedryl optional.

~~~

What creative ways do you have for incorporating learning into your everyday life?

**Thank you to “Photography by Kamarah” for the lovely pictures! Look for her on Facebook.

Morning by Morning

This past week while I was stuffing my pie hole with a loaded baked potato at our BSF Fellowship, our leader posed a question:

“Looking back over this year’s study of Isaiah, what do you think the Lord’s been teaching you…or how have you most been convicted?”

I quickly stabbed a small pile of bacon and avoided eye contact, equally needing time to think and not wanting to be labeled as the girl who won’t shut up. No one likes an overambitious “humble” admission.

The women around me offered stories of hardship and trial and shared how God had used the truths of this ancient prophet to shore up their faith, reminding them of his goodness and promises.

I swirled a dollop of butter and sour cream into a tiny puddle; vanilla pudding in the cavern of my starchy volcano.

“What about you, Jane?”

Surveying the room, I sucked in a breath and let the truth spill out.

I need to be more dedicated to consistent Scripture reading. Not because as Christians we “should” or we’re “expected to” or in an effort to keep legalism alive and well. Not because we’re striving for extra points on some mythical God-scorecard or on a heavenly tally sheet–but because reading the Bible reveals the nature of our God and Savior.

How can I, in circumstances of confusion or questioning, find any solid footing if not in God’s Word? Should I depend on my emotions or personal opinions?

How can I, in times of trouble or doubting, find strength in His Promises if I don’t have them hidden in my heart?

After sharing this one of the women told a story of a friend who went to Asia. Upon seeing the face of an American, one of the nationals ran up to her–a complete stranger–and begged her to recite a chapter from the Bible.

The American woman stood on the side of the busy street, enveloped by exhaust fumes and utter disbelief.

“What did you say?” she asked.

“You Americans all have Bibles and we have none! Certainly you must know just one chapter that you can share with us to give us a piece of the Word of God.”

Back in our fellowship group the room fell silent. How many of us could have answered that plea?

Isaiah 50:4 says, “The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.”

My conviction is to live that out.

Morning by morning, day by day, getting up after I’ve fallen, trying again after I’ve failed, but striving always to listen like one being taught.

~~~

How do you make time for God’s Word in your life? Is it a struggle or have you found a way to stay disciplined?

 

Anatomy 101 with Zac Brown

It’s been interesting to watch my oldest child grow up. He’s slowly interjected his fashion sensibilities, voiced desires for new hair styles, and independently changed the radio station away from my channels to those he enjoys. Seeing a unique personality emerge ignites my imagination for his future and reminds me that part of parenting is making room for greater freedom and individuality.

Today he was home with the never-ending fever of 2011, but I had promised my mom that I’d run an errand for her, so he sluffed into the van in jammies and moccasins. When I remembered that I had to duck into the grocery store for a handful of items, I let him wait in the car to listen to the radio.

Photo Credit: http://theinspirationroom.com

Enter Zac Brown and his hit song, Toes.

J is on a country kick. He’d probably buy his own pick-up truck right now if we let him.  Let’s pray he doesn’t ever consider chewing tobacco or obtaining a Confederate flag.

So I was surprised to return to the van and find the radio on but totally turned down. He looked at me and explained everything.

“Mom, I don’t think this song is appropriate because there’s a swear word in it, so whenever it comes on I just turn it down.”

“Oh. Well good job showing that I can trust you! So what does the song say? What’s the letter that the swear word starts with?”

“A.”

“Is it a-s-s?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know what that means?”

“Well, I had to kind of figure it out. The first time I heard the song he said, ..toes in the water, ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, cold beer in my hand… so I just thought to myself, “If his toes are in the water, then he had to be talking about his butt in the sand.”

We continued our conversation about these alternate anatomical references and how when I was growing up it would have been soap-in-the-mouth post haste for using that language. [ahhh...how times change, right?]

These days soap and shame are gone and colorful language has bubbled over into the mainstream, through the speakers of our radios and television sets. Now, if you know me well, you’ll know that I’m not beyond adding a little color to my vocabulary from time-to-time, and I certainly wouldn’t judge you for doing the same.

I’m just coming to terms with the fact that our world is a little different now. And if you’re in the car with your kid, chances are there will be opportunities for anatomy 101, courtesy of the Zac Brown Band.

I guess I should add a few diagrams to the glove box, just in case.

~~~

Have you ever been confronted with lyrics that you weren’t expecting your kids to notice? Or conversation on the news that caught you off guard? How did you handle it?

 

Up on the Watershed

photo credit: untitledrecords.com

My head is cloudy. I’m realizing with sorrow and unwillingness that even the sweetest things in life evolve and change.

Of course we’ve been heading toward this fork for some time now, however the prongs of decision continue to force our hand. The tangible, visible forcing rose like cream to the surface this weekend when my husband found a long-forgotten allen wrench and went to work disassembling our kids’ bunk beds.

We had scrimped and saved and experienced a bittersweet turning that summer, too—the summer before the birth of our youngest. Emptying the crib meant moving toddlers to big beds and saying goodbye to two babies so we could welcome one more. That was nearly six years ago, that season of pregnancy and anticipation and construction.

But Friday, each turn of the wrench and every twist of the screwdriver became a metaphor for the deconstruction that seems to be happening all around me. World events that crash in on our security. Smaller storms brew in our own lives and communities, tossing hearts and rocking steady feet. Questions and challenges and new ideas send me reeling and reaching for something to quell the tide in my belly.

I feel the splintering acutely, like a vegetable peeler taking away one slice of my heart at a time. Slowly, as slight as velum, slivers fall to the floor and I am left in confusion and grief, without the energy to navigate the next fork in the road.

There’s an old song* that says “You can stand there an agonize, till your agony’s your heaviest load…” The pinprick of sorrow that started with an allen wrench has swelled to somber agony when thrown into the mixing bowl of emotions and decisions.

It’s never just about the thing. It’s never just about the bunk beds.

There are always layers to lift up, peek below, peel away, and come to terms with.

It’s just that sometimes those layers feel so…profoundly…heavy.

~ ~ ~

*song credit: Watershed, Indigo Girls

Second Chances

My CONTEST is begging for a second chance! I’d love for more people will have the opportunity to get involved, so the deadline is being extended. Please tell your friends that they may enter their comment until midnight on Thursday, March 24.  And help me spread the word–this is a great book to win; I’m certain you’ll agree that it’s an instant classic!

Family Friday: Crayons and a CONTEST!

In the spirit of loving competition, my husband started “Super Fun Dad Nights” when our kids were little. On evenings I was out he’d plan something spectacular to do together, usually involving candy, balloons, and duct tape. It won the kids over and, of course, solidified dad as the favorite.

Until the next morning when I slathered their Eggo with the best syrup Michigan produces.

Now I’ve stolen the idea: I tell the kids that we’ll have “Super Fun Mom Night” when daddy’s off working hard at a meeting or function. As I’ve told you before, he is much more fun in the traditional sense of the word. I’m fun in the “let’s learn together creatively” sense of the word. Life’s a regular party with me, huh?

So last week I grabbed one of our library books on tape and slid it into my son’s portable boom box which we relocated to the living room. I passed out a hardcover book to each kid, along with a piece of computer paper and pencil, and put a community box of crayons in the center of the floor.

Then we sat in silence as the story rolled on, imagining the pictures, envisioning the scenery, and capturing tiny details. As the narrator progressed, we began to draw a scene as we pictured it in our mind’s eye. We added details and tried to incorporate as many components as possible.

After the story concluded we took a few extra minutes to wrap up and then we shared our work. The kids described the setting, characters, and which section of the plot their story represented.

This was a peaceful activity that promoted active listening, imagination, fine motor skills, and interpersonal skills during share time. They all felt they could do better next time, but for a first try, I thought they did great. Take a look and don’t miss the CONTEST at the end!

By J, my 8 year old son

 

By M, my 5 year old son

 

By A, my 7 year old daughter

 

By a Super Fun Mom

Based on these drawings, can you guess the title and author of the book? Your correct guess will enter you into a random drawing for your own copy! Here are the rules:

• Leave a comment with your guess BEFORE MONDAY, MARCH 21
• YOU MUST ALSO post this contest on your blog or facebook page, or tweet a link [sorry friends without social media, these are part of the rules!]
• and…
• You can earn an extra entry by also correctly identifying the award this book won.

Good luck!

Leaving Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Image via Wikipedia

I’ve never been a big “shopper”…if by shopper you’re picturing a classy, well-manicured Breakfast at Tiffany’s 30-something clicking through the mall with a bouquet of bags bursting from the nook in her elbow.

I prefer flip-flops and I’m not all that classy.

Despite my efforts to be cute and semi-fashion-informed, the truth is that I’m just average. I’ve been in jeans for the better part of my life, and until the loving intervention of my friend a few years ago, those jeans were famously paired with turtlenecks on a daily basis. What can I say? I like to be warm and I like to be comfortable.

What I’ve been learning, however, is that shopping doesn’t have to happen at Banana Republic or Kohl’s for it to start cutting into your budget. Your handbag obsession is my Costco bill–and my Target splurge is your pair of designer jeans. It’s all the same to the bank.

I remember a couple of months ago my parents stopped over and I excitedly said to them, “Guess what I got today?!” My mom said something like, “I don’t know Jane, you’re always getting something.” Now, this comment was flippant and lighthearted, [don't worry mom--you didn't hurt my feelings]—- but it DID make me think. Am I really turning into that girl? That “shopper”?

How many times have I gone to the store for deodorant and toothpaste and left spending $100? And don’t even get me started on Costco! You can safely bet that each item you deposit in your cart is going to cost you $10. Their food testers lure and their kids’ clothes are cheap and their books such a bargain! It’s a regular merry-go-round of delight and I sign up for a ride way too often.

Generally these “extras” are justified by pointing out that they’re not for me, they’re for our kids.  For instance, I found a couple of $5 videos which I reasoned would be perfect for our upcoming vacation. Since we’re driving, we’d better have entertainment after all! Then I stumbled upon some squirt guns and water balloons. What a fun mom I am, I told myself. Of course all the Easter goodies are out, so I had to scoop up a few of those items–for the kids, you know. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

So where does it end?

For me, it’s ending this Lent. I’ve given up the holy trinity of shopping: Target, Costco, AND the mall. Now, I wouldn’t stand in the way of my husband popping in for a mega-box of granola bars at the Warehouse, but I’m not going to go in. It’s too easy for me to see the variety of sparkly, fun things and try to justify why we need them.

Like I did with our snorkeling equipment. [see? fun mom in Florida, right?]

The truth of the matter is that even though we can pay our bills and God has blessed us with some rainy day money, there’s no need for me to aimlessly wander the aisles grabbing things at whim. There’s no need to store up treasures here when so many people are scraping along with less than basic essentials. And what does it teach my children about instant gratification or patience if I’m piling up purchases myself?

So this Lent is bigger than shopping. It’s really all about contentment. It’s about praying the words of Paul and really striving to walk in the direction of the peace he talks about:

“If we have food and covering, with these we will be content.”

I Tim 6:8

What are you working on this Lenten Season? Have you felt convicted to make some changes in your life?

Michigan Maple Syrup!

The dormant, hibernating teacher in me is creeping to the surface once again. I may not be clawing to get back into the classroom, but I do love to turn our living room, kitchen, and the nearby woods into places where we can learn and explore together.

So this past Saturday I planned a “Family Challenge” for us: a outing or activity with a purpose. We surprised the kids and went to a local maple syrup farm to learn how trees are tapped and syrup is made!

I quickly typed up a handout to help direct our time, made copies, paper clipped them to hardcover books, and then passed them out to the kids [who needs clipboards?!]. The first section had them make a hypothesis and record some road names and location information. The rest of the questions dealt with the process of making syrup, what natural resources are involved, what benefits there are to buying local products, etc.

The folks at the “Sugar Shack” were warm and gracious. Without an appointment they swung wide their doors and invited us into the history of the farm. With unhurried care they explained how sappy goodness is boiled down into something wonderful for your morning waffles, and they explained how Native Americans and Settlers each had their own ways of making syrup [clever people!]

After we asked questions and wandered around a bit, our children got a spoonful of the real thing, ladled out of a stainless steel drum before our very eyes! [I quickly channeled Buddy the Elf and thought of him pouring syrup on his spaghetti and naming it as one of the four food groups].

After making a few purchases we plodded down the adjacent dirt road which led to the farm’s harvesting area. Zig-zagged with blue tubes scurrying from 1,000 tree taps, the nearby forest was a maze delivering sap to a 250 gallon drum, which when full is only enough for about FIVE gallons of syrup!!  [if you are cynical about the cost of pure maple syrup, that's why!]

Days like this one open so many doors for learning, great conversation, and praise to a God who would provide something so sweet from a tree! If you live in West Michigan or the Northeastern United States, check your local directory for a syrup farm near you; you’ll never look at your pancakes the same way again.  I promise!

What about you? What fun winter activities have you discovered recently?

Family Friday: Math at Dinner

Do you remember memorizing your math facts in elementary school?

I clearly recall my second grade teacher walking us up one-by-one to the front of the room to recite addition and subtraction facts. With breath suspended and heart pounding my ears, I looked to the paper train hovering above the blackboard and followed her tapping yardstick until reaching the goal: finish the entire train without one mistake.

No pressure, right?

With our own kids starting down this road of mastering math facts, my husband and I have been trying to find ways to incorporate a little math into daily life. This doesn’t mean that flashcards and calculators have to make an appearance or that the mood must become tense and somber–there are other ways to get your kids thinking! Here are a few ways to weave math into your dinner convo tonight:

1. How old is grandma? One of our kids asked how old grandma would be on her upcoming birthday. Instead of just telling them, we offered her year of birth, provided pencil and paper, and asked them to figure it out.

2. What about the dog? We got a puppy seven months after we got married. If we got married in August of 1998, roughly how old is our dog now? [cue the paper and pencils] How old is he in dog-years?  How old was the dog when you were 4?

3. Speaking of Marriage: If mom was born in 1975 and we got married in 1998, how old was mom when she walked down the aisle? [Repeat with dad].

4. When your brother is 10….? Our youngest son is in preschool and is not yet working to memorize math facts. However, this boy does not want to be left out! So we crafted a few simple questions for him like, “If your brother is 3 years older than you, how old will he be when you’re 6?” or in reverse,  ”When J is 10, how old will you be?”

We actually had fun and spent most of our dinner crafting problems and searching for solutions. Once we had discovered one grandma’s age, the kids prodded for information they could use to figure out the other grandparents’ ages. And with a little thinking we were able to incorporate our 5 year old effortlessly.

Next time you sit down for dinner, add a piece of paper and pencil to each place setting and flex your math muscles together; not only will it prepare your kids for the rigors of school, but it reinforces the idea that math really is an everyday skill.

Counting the Cost at Lent

My school year has been transformative for several reasons, but the most notable has been joining BSF, Bible Study Fellowship. This international Bible study brings over 200,000 students together over 38 countries each week; it’s truly mind-boggling to think that women in Africa and men in South America are opening to the same passages of Scripture and learning the same truths as we are in West Michigan.

Today our lecture leader wove several questions throughout her talk that seemed perfectly timed with the beginning of this rich and historical Lenten season. As you prepare your heart for a measured time of self-sacrifice, devotion, and prayer, perhaps these thoughts could spur you on–spur me on–to greater love and purpose.

• “Ministry that costs nothing accomplishes nothing.” Is it costing me anything to be a Christian today?
• “Jesus’ heart was to bless all, but to please just one.” This demonstrated his love and obedience. Am I being obedient to God? He never says it will be easy.
• Women, on average, speak 20,000 words a day! We weren’t saved to sit, so what am I doing with my 20,000 words a day?
• The Pharisees had religion, but no relationships. They knew duty, but lacked devotion. They had lists, but no love. Does this describe me in any way?
• Even those who believe have honest fears and doubts. But do I focus on the problems…or Promises?

What are you doing as you walk the calendar road to Resurrection Sunday? Have you been convicted? Encouraged?

Easy Recycling and Repurposing Craft

This past weekend my son was given a homework assignment to find an object that could be recycled or repurposed into something new and useful.

[DISCLAIMER: by useful, we don't mean turning a regular piece of paper into a paper airplane which another boy certainly did do as his project; I noted that you may as well take a Jimmy John's napkin and blow your nose in it and call that recycling].

Instead we turned to the wonderful world of youTube for some ideas. What we came up with is a bird feeder that I will actually use after the grading is done! Perhaps you’ll be inspired to make one with your kids–it’s the perfect way to welcome spring!

You will need:

• 1 empty [2L] bottle
• one 1/4 in dowel precut to about 10 inches
• an exacto knife for cutting
• a drill
• bird seed
• string for hanging

DIRECTIONS

1. Grab an empty 2Liter bottle from your recycle bin and strip away the label.
2. Using a craft blade or exacto knife, carefully cut two round circles across from each other in the bottle, approximately 4 inches from the bottom. These should be large enough to allow birds in but keep other pests out.
3. Again using your exacto knife, slice a small “x” shape about an inch below each of the round circles [picture the straw hole in your fast-food drink lid].
4. Insert your pre-cut dowel into the “straw hole” and through to the other side.
5. Fill feeder with bird seed.
6. Drill a small hole in the cap and insert a string for hanging.

Using a paper funnel to get the seed in.

 

 

What Are You Craving?

Today I’m tooting horns and celebrating with an acquaintance/church friend of mine awaiting the release of her first book, Craving Grace. I’m honored to have been given the opportunity to review this book in the next month or so…just in time for your Mother’s Day shopping and graduation-gift-buying!

On her blog today, Lisa’s asking you to post questions you might have about the book; please join me in checking it out! I’m sure I’m not the only one who’ll relate to her mini-bio on the back cover about a girl who did everything “right” until…one night.  [Hmmm!! I'm intrigued!]

What happens when perfectionism and rules and legalism crash into God’s sweetness, love, and grace? You get a great new book!

ICD Revisted

In August 2009 I posted a humorous take on my own made-up disorder: ICD–”Inter-Connectivity Disorder.” I purported that this disorder subconsciously connects faces into a criss-crossing web that leads me to exclaim, “You know who he LOOKS like?!” at least seven times a day.

The irony of this post, aside from being my most popular ever and based purely on an invented disease, is that many of my commenters thought it was real! They said things like, “I do the same thing and I’ve always wondered if there was a name for it!”

It simultaneously made me laugh and wonder if I’d be sued for fraud.

But mostly I laughed.

So in the spirit of silliness and adding a measure of light-heartedness to the gravity of global news, here is my latest connection:

  

Moammar Gadhafi

Henry, my little buddy and our dog's best friend

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, sweet little Henry. If only Gadhafi had a small measure of your kindness and joy for life, the world would be a much better place.

YOUR TURN: Who are your look-alikes? Leave a comment with names or link back to your own blog post about the same topic if you want to show photos.  Cheers to ICD!

Building Trust in the Small Things

When the lights fall and I’m lying motionless in a smudge of darkness, my prayers become loose and frayed and worry sets in. While many contend that worrying is “normal,” I know that many more would suggest it reveals my own lack of trusting God to hold the future. And as much as I’d like to say that notion is ridiculous, I know better.

In today’s world, we worry about any and everything. Does red dye in food cause hyperactivity? Does aluminum in our deodorant cause cancer? Should we quit drinking milk? Is red meat as bad as they say? Will our identities be stolen while we’re at the lakeshore? It can be maddening, really, and I think that we as Christians have a tough job when it comes to responsible stewardship and responsibly seeking health…while not getting sent into a tailspin with worry.

For me–and probably many of you–one of the concerns that immediately rises to the surface has to do with trusting our kids as they become more independent…and trusting that with God’s help and by his grace our parenting will prepare them for good choices and right living. Of course at this point I have no reason to think our children will turn to trolls when they hit fifteen, however, I do wonder:

• When my future teen leaves to spend time at a friend’s house, can I trust that he will really be where he claims to be?
• Can I trust that he or she will seek solid friendships instead of falling into the wrong crowd?
• Can I trust that she will refrain from watching TV shows or movies that clearly lie beyond the boundaries we’ve established?
• Will I be able to trust him to walk away when buddies pull out a Playboy or Maxim Magazine?

So one of the little things we’ve been trying to do is to use the language of trust with small things. For example:

• “Son, if I set the timer, can I trust that you’ll turn off the computer when your time is up?”
• “Daughter, it’s lights out and radio off at 8:30 tonight.  Can I trust you to do that?…or will I have to come back to check on you?”

Of course all this is an unproven and untested in the real world, but my prayer is that the kids will begin to see that trust is earned in small steps and with daily decisions.  Jesus himself says it perfectly in Luke 16:10:

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

Parents out there, what are your biggest worries? And what are your techniques for instilling the importance of trust in your children?

Please leave a comment and share them below so we can encourage each other!

Family Friday: Book Nights

Cover of WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS

Pop some popcorn and get in your jammies for Book Night!

My husband and I first considered taking story time beyond Officer Buckle and Gloria when one of his friends from work shared this simple idea: instead of “movie night” or “game night,” they do “book nights.” He mentioned how excited his kids get when they pile on the couch with a great chapter book.

Now, I can guess what you’re thinking: this is your big idea? Reading a BOOK?! Ok, I’ll admit that this is not rocket science, but I’d argue that for today’s families, hunkering down for an hour or two to read a chapter book is more difficult than it sounds.

You have to resist answering the phone.

You must carefully choose books that are compelling and classic, while being age-appropriate for each child.

You must make time.

Our most recently finished classic is the beloved Where The Red Fern Grows, by Wilson Rawls. If you’ve never read it, please add it to your to-do list immediately. Simple yet profound, this book will have you laughing and weeping and wondering if childhood can ever be the same as it was for the young protagonist.

One of my favorite passages says, “…People have been trying to understand dogs ever since the beginning of time. One never know what they’ll do. You can read every day where a dog saved the life of a drowning child, or lay down his life for his master. Some people call this loyalty. I don’t. I may be wrong, but I call it love–the deepest kind of love” [214].

There are some action sequences in this book that are a bit PG+, including the detailed death of a boy in a hunting accident, however the sweeping sentiment of love, hard work, and loyalty is priceless. To add some depth to the experience, I found the movie on the $5 rack at Target and our family enjoyed comparing and contrasting it to what we had read in the book. Our kids absolutely loved them both, but agreed that grandpa just didn’t look quite like they had pictured him in their minds [isn't that always the case?]

Last night we began a shorter chapter book, Who Was Harriet Tubman? It’s exciting to plan ahead and choose books that teach wonderful values [like Red Fern], encourage imagination [Narnia Series] and that teach history [Tubman, Island of the Blue Dolphins].

It takes purposeful evening planning to stay consistent, and I’ll admit that’s something we can improve on at our home. However, even snuggling up two or three times a week is a great family moment free from media and screens, but full of wonder and dreams.

Shovel It In, Kids. And Quiet Down While You’re At It.

How long does it take you to eat your lunch?

And what’s on your lunch menu, generally speaking?

Today I surprised my oldest and snuck up to school with a bag of processed goodness from a certain “Clown-Based Establishment” in our town. That’s right, McDonald’s was in the house school.  My son was over the moon with the revelation that meat sandwiches and apple slices would be replaced with cheeseburgers and fries. I, of course, gazed at the luke-warm patty sitting neatly on its yellow paper and calculated how I would completely nullify my morning workout in just one hearty serving of grease.

Super.

At any rate, this is not a post about the cuisine found at the Golden Arches. It is about school cafeterias and what I learned sitting at a round table of third-graders in the middle of the day:

1. They get fifteen minutes to eat their lunch. Some of you are probably thinking it takes you that long to relieve yourself [ahem], so how in the name of all that is holy could kids consume an entire lunch in fifteen minutes? Good question.  This is how:

2. They eat only the good stuff. A sweet boy and friend of my son was sitting a few butt-spaces over from us. I took mental notes on what he chose to eat from his bag-lunch.

• [1] Jell-o chocolate/vanilla swirl pudding cup
• [2] Chips ‘Ahoy cookies
• [1] bag of mostly crushed potato chips which were literally jammed into his mouth while the bell rang…before he politely declined my offer of a napkin and proceeded to smear salted hands down the front of his pants.  Mmmm.

3. It is loud and stressful. Now, I must commend our school for maintaining high and clear expectations and having disciplinary procedures in place; however, 100+ kids in a small echoey place? Not ideal.

4. Did I mention they get fifteen minutes to eat? And, might I highlight the fact that if they can’t properly stab their own Capri Sun or if you forgot to add a fork to their lunch box, they have to raise their hand and wait for a helper to come to their aid. Again, it makes sense to not have dozens of small bodies bustling around, but for real. We’re down to twelve minutes–best case scenario.

{EXHALE}

I guess the moral of the story is this : pack light, pack little, and tell your kids to sit down and shovel it in.

TICK.

TOCK.

Time’s a’wastin.’

Your Baby Doesn’t Come With Instructions

Do you find it rather unbelievable that we are asked to fill out nearly every detail of our existence to rent a movie from Blockbuster, that we are legally bound to take hunting and boating safety classes if we wish to pursue those hobbies, and that even ordering things online means creating accounts and passwords till the cows come home?

Thank you to Kamarah Sietsema for this lovely photo

It seems that so much of what we do–be it hobby or job or personal–requires jumping through some hoops. YET, what is arguably the most important job a parent will ever do [that's right--actually RAISE their kid] requires little more than watching a dusty video on Shaken Baby Syndrome before leaving the hospital. You can be the biggest turd in the zip code, running a meth lab in your shed and letting goats sleep in your living room, and if you want to reproduce the only thing there to stop you is a rusty zipper and the old box of pizza you left on the mattress the night before.

Comforting, I know.

Now don’t misunderstand: I’m not advocating for governmental oversight into parenting or reproduction. at. all. Ever. Period. Fin.

However, I’m merely making the point that there is no manual, no instruction book, and generally no formal training on disciplining your children or raising them to love the Lord or be kind, loving members of society [except for the gentle input of your mother-in-law...wink, wink]

Am I the only one who sees this irony?

So I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say that parents often feel overwhelmed and defeated as they deal with screaming toddlers feigning death in the supermarket or dramatic school-goers who are having “the worst day EVER!”

It’s hard, right?!

While we’ll all have trials with our kids–and while we acknowledge that at the end of the day, they’ll still make their own choices–I don’t believe we have to feel hopeless.

Of course as parents we have the Bible to guide us. Proverbs will quickly become your best friend if your looking for ways to remind your kids [and yourself!] about anger and foolishness. But if you’re looking for something a bit more concise [i.e, leaving out all the exciting stories of death and rebellion and plagues], here are a few resources to consider:

For New Parents

Baby Wise, by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam: INVALUABLE for newborns!!  A MUST!

Parenting Kids Who Can Speak

Shepherding a Child’s Heart, by Tedd Tripp: Fantastic resource for disciplining–even if you don’t agree with everything.

Bringing Up Boys / Bringing Up Girls, by James Dobson: I confess these are both in our home and on the nightstand, but I haven’t completed either yet. Friends who have read them highly recommend the insight gained.

General Resource

Words Kids Need To Hear [To Help Them Be Who God Made Them To Be], by David Staal: Tremendous book about how to love your kids better. Very quick read with great ideas; practical.

***

If you’re anything like me, you’ve got twenty-six other titles laying around that are half-read or in the “I really need to read this” pile. I can think of several off the top of my head that should be added above, but I’ll keep it brief for tonight.

What are your classic parenting books? Please leave a comment with your suggestions! Readers helping readers…

On Jobs and Polished Nails

I went to college at a time when I thought I had six job choices: nurse, lawyer, doctor, teacher, church-something-or-other, or the mysterious “business” person. It never occurred to me that there might be other fields outside the scope of my imagination that deserved consideration.

Shame.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve found myself in envious disbelief when I hear of people who dared to get a cool job–who dared to push themselves beyond the boundaries of the expected and the safe.

Packaging Engineer?  Huh??

Traveling Journalist? Really?

Website designer?? Wait…we didn’t have websites then…

This year marks my ninth home with our children and the bittersweet end of this road is drawing close. My feelings surrounding this event are immense and varied, and best saved for another post. However, the prospect of working again is on the horizon, and that prospect is at once exhilarating, intimidating, thrilling, and a bit daunting.

Although I am so thankful for my training and experience as a teacher–and although I am glad to use what I learned as a parent-who-teaches–I’m standing at a fork in the road and am considering a left turn. Something unexpected. Something that might be considered “a bit of a stretch.” I think I’m finally ready to brave the unwritten pages of a new chapter rather than return to the classroom [insert many prayers here].

I’m considering things for this next chapter that I love, but acknowledge they probably won’t ever move beyond hobby and into a real money making “here’s-your-paycheck” type of job.  That could pose a bit of a dilemma, but I’m not going to let pragmatics and potential problems stand in the way. I’m dreaming about the what-if’s and the why-not’s.

And I’ve decided.  I want to work here:

Oh. my. It’s stunning, right?

Now, on to the practical: What kind of job, you ask?

Well…technically, I don’t know yet.

I just know that it’s going to require this laptop and some really gorgeous shoes. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to keep my nails polished so that I can page through lovely paper samples and examine stunning photographs without the embarrassment of a stray hangnail.

Sigh… Sounds dreamy, right?

Helping me along with the fantasy is Lavender & Lilies, who posted this box of eye candy last week, including the photo above.

Thanks for the dreams, L&L.  I’ll be back for more.

Moms out there who are contemplating a return to work outside the home, how are you processing? What are your aspirations?

Hearing Isaiah in a Painted Sky

“Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance? ”

“To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.
Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing…”

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.

[Isaiah 40: 12-13, 25-26, 28]

Valentine’s Day Part 2: Hunting for Treasure

It’s probably the hibernating teacher within that brings me round to setting up riddles and scavenger hunts for my kids. Yes, after all these years of standing in slippers wiping butts and noses, there are moments when that alter-ego is dusted off and put to use. My hands start scrawling notes with time stamps and abbreviations, planning out each section of our night and crossing my fingers for a normal bedtime. I stay awake into the wee hours of silver moonlight thinking about how it will unfold and try to convince myself that this is all very normal.

This Valentine’s Day, having already delivered the cookies, we planned for some family time that centered around a hunt. The goal was to come up with a creative way to unveil their gifts and cards instead of looking at them all and saying in a benign tone, ”Here you go.  Happy Valentine’s Day.” [cue pink cards and wrapping paper flopping weakly on the table].

PLAN:

1. kids will find hidden riddles and mini-gift bags accompanying each clue [one bag per kid]
2. run riddles and gifts one-at-a-time back to living room and start a pile
3. continue searching
4. once all 6 cards are found, sit as a group to solve each riddle
5. riddles are intentionally scrambled and kids will have to unscramble “clue” words [below in bold caps] to form a coherent sentence which will tell them what to do

SCAVENGER HUNT CLUES:

1. Look up Genesis 8:16. What did God tell Noah to do? ["COME out of the ark..."
2. Look up John 14:1. Write down the word before "hearts": [YOUR]
3. Look up John 3:16. Write the first word here: [FOR]
4. Write down the missing homophone: two, too, [TO]
5. Look up Genesis 43:26. What was presented to Joseph? [GIFTS]
6. Look up Exodus 20:12. Whom must you honor? [YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER]

The kids worked together to form: Come to your father and mother for your gifts –or–For your gifts, come to your father and mother.  They got it! Running downstairs they found their gifts laid out in three piles: nothing special, but something to let them know they were thought of. A small card, a little candy, lots of love.

So it was a great Valentine’s Day at the Graham household. We didn’t get to the Bingo game or The Story of St. Valentine as I had wanted, but the kids enjoyed the challenge and the mystery of the hunt nonetheless.

Try it next time you want to send your family a creative message–maybe even something like “pick up your disgusting clothes pile” will turn into a fun!

Valentine’s Day Part 1: Spread Some Love

Don’t we all wish there was a fool-proof recipe or some sort of silicon mold that promised to shape our children into the caring, generous, love-filled humans we want them to be? Or perhaps some magic powder we could sprinkle on heads or tiny feet that guaranteed sweetness and compassion?

Instead, we parents carry the burden–and joy–of instilling these values and character traits into our children with purposeful teaching and through personal example. In my own life, I can think of incredibly generous individuals whom I so admire, and others that I love dearly, but who seem to squander opportunities to spread love. Taking time to reflect on both possibilities can help us parent with “the end in mind.”

So it was perfect timing that our youngest son’s AWANA homework last week was to make Valentines’ cards with his memory verse on them.  We decided to tackle it as a family and started our Valentine’s Day celebration with the premise that we should share love with our neighbors.  Although they may argue that they’re sick of our baked goods and annoyed by little hands ringing doorbells in the dark, we think it’s fun and enjoy these small moments.  Neighbors, thanks for graciously welcoming our children…and our cookies

 

Heading out for deliveries

 

 

Easy Meal Idea With a Side of Smiles

If you’ve been a long-time reader, you will know that my kitchen prowess is, well, a bit unpolished. That is to say, I should have auditioned for Anne Burrell’s Worst Cook in America. I’m sure I could put on quite a show with my colorful creations.

HOWEVER. In a moment of serendipitous delight, I actually hit one out of the park this past week! Of course the protein was prepackaged and precooked, but hey–once the Costco food testers get you drooling in the aisles, there’s really no turning back.

Here are the details.  Go ahead and add it all to your shopping list:

• 1 french bread baguette
• baby spinach
• sliced tomatoes [I make mine half-moon shaped]
• dipping herbs + EVOO
• Amylu’s Chicken Burgers [YUM!!]

I use my lovely new panini press to toast the french bread which has been generously slathered in the EVOO and herbs. Next, to accommodate the size of the “bun” I cut the burgers in half. This is also a tricky portion control stunt I use to reduce my tendancy to strap on the feed bag and go to town.  Last, top with spinach and tomato and BAM! Instant smiles!

I slice my bread on a bias so that the "buns" are bigger

Prepare your dipping sauce to baste the bread

Mmmm! Hot and toasty...

Toss on your chicken burgers for those great grill marks

Garnish...

Enjoy!

 

Family Friday: Compassion Project

I don’t know about where you live, but the past few weeks have blasted West Michigan with painfully icy wind and record-breaking snowfall. I wish I could say that I’m loving it, but in truth, I’m counting the days until we can flee like frozen refugees for asylum on some non-specified Florida beach.

While our climate can seem oppressive, weeks like these do provide fodder for thought if you’re looking for matter to ponder. At our home, the relentless weather led to a meaningful conversation about the homeless in our community. Tucked safely in our cozy home like birds in a nest, we empathized and tried to comprehend life in their scuffed shoes. We imagined a cold night without restful sleep or a place to go, and decided that there had to be something we could do–however small–to show compassion.

We came up “The Compassion Project.” Sitting down together, the kids dictated a letter to our neighbors which I typed up.  It started out:

“Dear Neighbors,

Have you ever imagined what it would be like if you lived in Michigan in the winter and were homeless? I bet it would be freezing.

Together as the Graham Family we are working to collect blankets you don’t need or care about that we could take to people who are homeless. We will deliver them to Mel Trotter…”

After dad made copies, we drove our little offspring around the neighborhood to deliver the letters and later in the week we collected the blankets. We were surprised and grateful to those who scouted out forgotten quilts, washed them, and had them ready when we came around in the suppertime darkness. At the end of the night, we had almost 30 blankets!

Tired but happy

Bagged up and ready for drop off

That weekend we delivered everything to Mel Trotter, a shelter in downtown Grand Rapids. While I wanted the kids to see the reality of life on the margins of society, more important to me was instilling in them the idea that showing love and concern for others doesn’t have to be a monumental undertaking. You don’t need a million dollars. You don’t have to know the president. You certainly don’t have to be a grown up!

Why not reach outside yourself today with the little ones that you love? Whether nieces or nephews, grandchildren, kids at church or school–or your own children–find a small act of compassion that you can do together. Love always brings a little extra sunshine to the winter snow!

Check back next week for another Family Friday idea…and be sure to share your own great ideas by leaving a comment below!

An Our Final Winner Is…

KAREN SILVA!  Karen, you will soon be the proud new owner of Keri Wyatt Kent’s book, Simple Compassion. I’ll be contacting you to make arrangements for shipping!  Hope it’s a blessing!

Thanks for playing

Peanuts in the Morning

Do you remember the sound of Charlie Brown‘s teacher on The Peanuts? She had that muffled “whaa-whaa-whaa” of an expertly muted trumpet combined with some sort of nasally resonance never before heard on earth–much less in a classroom. How Linus ever managed to do anything beyond “pound erasers” is beyond me.

Which brings me to our home this morning. It seems I must sound like the Peanuts teacher to my kids. I see them stare blankly into my eyes, their gaze hollow and questioning. I swear they see my mouth moving and may even note a waving hand or pointing finger. What they don’t seem to capture, however, are any of the things that come tumbling out of my mouth before 8:30 in the morning.

“What?…get dressed? What are you talking about?!”

“Huh? Hurry up? What for?”

“Brush my teeth? I did that before bed last night!”

Well, ok…they really didn’t say those things, but they may as well have. Instead of saying those things they:

1. Did not get dressed [or run an ever-loving comb through their ever-loving hair]

2. Did not hurry up [missed the ever-loving BUS]

3. Did brush their teeth, but also managed to drop the toothpaste on the floor [awesome]

Friends, what’s up with the pre-bus stop disconnect? Why–in February mind you–is it so fantastically difficult to get buttons fastened and socks on feet? How long does it really take to suit up in snow gear–and should I clock this task in minutes or hours?

Tomorrow, instead of fighting and going crazy in my head, maybe I’ll just look at them and express, in all candor, my true feelings:

“WHAA WHAA WHAA.”

I promise: they won’t know the difference.

Thin Places goes to…

DENA!  Congratulations!  You’re the new owner of my gently-used copy of Mary DeMuth’s Thin Places.  I’ll be contacting you for further details soon!

And Monday’s Winner Is…

Terri from nanasfaith.blogspot.com ! You are the proud new owner of my Defiance Texas Trilogy set, by Mary DeMuth.  I’ll be contacting you for your shipping information so that I can get the books in the mail by the end of the week!

Congrats!

 

And The Winner Is…

Terri from nanasfaith.blogspot.com ! You are the proud new owner of my Defiance, Texas Trilogy set, by Mary DeMuth.  I’ll be contacting you for your shipping information so that I can get the books in the mail by the end of the week!

Congrats!

 

Take Care of Your ‘Neighbs With Some Simple Compassion

Today, one of our local news reporters delivered his thoughts on this record-breaking weather while stationed up to his thighs in snow on a fake deck. Nice touch, I thought. One leg was in a “normal” section of the snow while the other was dramatically stomped into a tall drift, making the point that with the wind comes a new problem: blowing snow piling up to legendary heights.

Thoughtfully, this reporter not only called us all to personally use care and caution while outside, but to go the extra mile and check in on a neighbor. Blow out another driveway. Help someone get down the sidewalk. Keep your mailbox free and clear for the postal worker. In other words, exhibit some simple compassion.

This news snippet brought to mind a book I reviewed last year by Keri Wyatt Kent, Simple Compassion: Devotions to Make a Difference in Your Neighborhood and Your World. This book will be the subject of today’s free book giveaway! [Click on "Book Reviews" above for more information].

You have a week to do this–and a week to tell all your friends so they can throw their name in the hat. If living the Way of Jesus is important to you [instead of just talking or reading about it], this book is the perfect catalyst to get you thinking.

To enter your name into this contest, simply:

1.  Link TO my blog FROM your blog, facebook page, or twitter.

2.  Leave a comment below so that your name can be entered into the random drawing.

The winner will be announced next week Wednesday, FEB. 9. Good Luck!

More Exciting Than A Blizzard? A FREE BOOK!

It seems that nothing has the power to transform meteorologists into giddy children like a rollicking storm. Weathermen and women posted outdoors in the bluster seem thrilled to be at the center of such epic developments, their stern admonitions to skedaddle to the gas station and grocery store delivered while leaning precariously on the margins of a barely-visible highway.  There, hanging on for dear life, they convince us that the world as we know it may very well be coming to an end, sending school kids everywhere into a tizzy of snow day speculation.  [Ours are prepping for a sibling slumber party even as I type!]

THANKFULLY there’s a spark of light in all this blizzardy drama!  A free book for you!! Up for adoption today is my read-and-reviewed copy of Mary DeMuth‘s powerful memoir, Thin Places, published last February by Zondervan. [For more information, click on "Book Reviews" above].  Part of the reason I’ve chosen to share this book is that I found it to be so compelling, so raw and honest, that anyone who picks it up is bound to be changed. I hope that you’ll agree…and that you’ll pass it on to bless someone else in your community after you’ve laid it down.

If you’d like to toss your name in the ring, simply:

1. Post a link TO my blog FROM your blog, facebook page, or Twitter.

2.  Leave a comment below so that your name can be placed in the random drawing [I use random.org]

That’s it!  Unlike this blizzard–which should blow over in the next couple of days–you have a week.

The winner will be announced next week Tuesday, February 8. Good luck!

Book Giveaway Week!

This past week while huffing through a morning deathmatch with our eliptical machine, my gaze fell on the nearby spines of several books have been given to me over the years to review. Having gotten them with the intention of spreading the word, I figured that it’s high time they should be put up for adoption; after all, books can only inspire others when they’re read, which means they need to come down off the shelf and land squarely a pair of open hands. Maybe your hands?

Mary E. DeMuth

So to kick things off, I’m giving away my Defiance Texas Trilogy set by Mary DeMuth. I’ve reviewed all three of these books for Mary and can’t say enough about her storytelling or the effort she invests in her craft.  [If you'd like to read my reviews or learn more about any of her stories, click on the "Book Reviews" tab at the top].

To win all three gently-used books, simply add a link TO my blog FROM your blog or facebook page, then leave a comment below to submit yourself into the random drawing. Remember to enter your blog address in the comments form, leave an email address, or check back so that I can find you to discuss shipping options!

I’ll announce the winner next week Monday, February 7.

Tomorrow’s giveaway will be another fantastic Mary DeMuth book: her memoir, Thin Places. If you know anyone who has ever dealt with the pain of losing a parent at a young age, endured a broken home, or felt the shame of sexual abuse, you’ll want to visit tomorrow to enter.  Perhaps your contest win could be a life-changing gift for someone you hold dear, if not for yourself.

Family Friday: Indoor Skeet Shooting

I have to give major props to my husband for this one–it’s totally his brain and creativity that adds so much color and life to our home.  What can I say–he has a PhD. I guess you have to be crazy … colorful to get to that point.

In fact, tonight on Modern Family, one of our favorite shows, Claire said to her son Luke, “Luke, don’t know it’s a rule that you can only have one fun parent?” That’s Brandon, friends.  I’m “fun” in the “let’s have a teachable moment and do something nice for so-and-so” sense of the word.  So if that’s fun, I’m hilarious.

At any rate, Brandon came up with this beauty over Christmas break when our Nerf arsenal was at an all-time high. Walking around like a chew-spittin’, saggy-pants-hikin’, told’ja-so cowboy, he proposed we needed a little indoor skeet shootin’.

Welcome to Kentucky.

This evening proved to be a lot of fun, and I think the take-away for me was just how easy it is to be inventive and creative with stuff you’ve got laying around the house anyway.  In a nutshell, here was the night:

1.  Dad goes to the second story with balloons

2.  Dad drops balloons over the ledge [our 2-story foyer is open]

3.  Kids armed with double-barrelled Nerf guns wait at the ready, aiming for the balloons.

4.  Kid who makes contact with the most balloons wins [daughter who enjoys note-taking will keep score].

and of course, Mom and Mr. Fun give it a whirl, too…

Look at me!  A different kind of “hilarious.”  Try it!

What a Great Idea!

I love to share great ideas. If it’s something that can encourage or edify–I’m your blogger. [keep that in mind and send my your besties!]

Recently my dear friend Lyndsey sent me a link to her friend’s design blog–you know–the kind of designer that nearly makes you feel like a kindergardener coloring with jumbo crayons stuck between your toes in comparison. But I say that in love and admiration.  April is amazing.

Anywho, I love April’s idea so much I’m linking to her site so you can check it out for yourself.  My husband and I have been working on our own version of this on a piece of wood he rescued from a gym floor…when it’s done you can bet you’ll see it here first

April’s Family Rules Canvas Idea is just a click away…

 

Fortune Cookies: Free Therapy

Let’s pause for a moment of honesty.  [Exhale through the nose]…

thanks to travelstart.com for the photo

I ate the whole. box.

[Minus five cookies which were generously allotted to my children.]

I mean, this was over several days, so don’t go pointing fingers.  I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s ever eaten more than the “suggested serving size.” Those are just guidelines, anyway.

I didn’t really know I loved fortune cookies this much until they became a secret treasure to be consumed in the late evening hours. Preferably during an edifying episode of The Bachelor.  In case you didn’t know, some food just tastes better in your pajamas [no charge for that priceless tidbit].

Maybe it’s the elastic waist band that is so forgiving, or the fact that it’s quiet and you can hear your teeth crunching without the background noise of kids fighting over who forgot to flush the toilet.

At any rate, what I discovered [beyond my penchant for binging] is that fortune cookies are like free therapy! Who knew?! Biting into one of these is like flipping on a grown-up version of Barney and having a group of cheerleaders spring into your living room for encouragement, cartwheels and all.

So now I know: in those moments when gray clouds seem to crawl over my future, all I need to do is look at this array of oh-so-specific fortunes for a quick pick-me-up:

1. “You will make a sudden rise in life.” [That is correct. Starting with my weight.]

2. “Opportunity will soon knock. When it does, answer the door!” [Ding-Dong: Girl Scout cookies!]

3. “Your golden opportunity is coming shortly.”

4. “The weekend ahead predicts enjoyment.”

5. “A charming friendship is in the making.” 

6. “Grant yourself a wish this year; only you can do it.”

7. “Opportunities surround you if you know where to look.”

Don’t you just feel better already? I told you–instant cheerleaders, right? Opportunities abound, and good times and charming friends are coming my way! Fantastic!

So next time you need free therapy, head down your nearest “ethnic” aisle at the grocery story and look for that lovely, shiny blue box of LaChoy goodness.  Happiness and instant optimism for only $1.97!

Grab your jammies and dive in.

Family Friday: Spiritual Formation

I’ve been thinking about posting this for awhile now, and thanks to the encouragement of a friend am finally getting around to it. This Friday I thought I’d share an idea I had for bringing Scripture into the kitchen–which we all know is where all the action is, and arguably, the heart of the home. The look and specific location of this thing in our kitchen would definitely NOT make the cut on Dear Genevieve or Divine Design, but I think it’s ‘divine’ all the same [terrible pun, I know].

A little background: When our kids were little I’d search the Bible for Scripture passages that could teach a lesson [i.e, "It is good to share what we have"] and were short enough to get caught in the crazy brain of a 3 year old. I’d print them out on cardstock paper, have the kids draw what they think the verse meant on that same paper, and then put them in a binder that we’d look at before bed.  It worked great, and if you’re a mom of young kids I’d still recommend it.

The problem with growing kids is that it becomes–or is becoming in our home–more difficult to sit down together every night without the static of homework and sports and dad being gone. The binder got put in a basket and we started getting it out less and less.  I decided there had to be a better way to get this stuff in front of our kids’ faces and into their hearts.  So here’s what I came up with:

I bought these nifty magnetic ropes from Home & Company [I know...I'm obsessed...] and decided to condense my goals into two parts: 1) here’s what we believe, and 2) here’s how we want to live.

Now when I find those clincher verses I write them out on flashcards and put them up under the appropriate category.  

This way we can reference them during conversations and they see them every time they leave the house and return home again.  And so do I.  Because I don’t know about you, but my Scripture skills can always stand some remediation!

Lastly, the verse that we’re focussing on today [or for us it's every-two weeks] goes up on the fridge.  We reference it mostly when it comes up in discussion or when it’s a natural teaching moment.  I almost never say, “Ok, kids! Repeat after me!” [unless I'm really torked about something and need drop the holy hammer].  Rather, it’s more something like this:

“Wow, you guys.  Look at this article in the paper today.  The homeless people in our city are really struggling.  Can you even imagine what it would be like to not have a warm home or a place to rest at night?  What do you think we could do to show them kindness and love?”  [more on this specific convo another time].

[Mom, continuing]: “…it reminds me of this verse we’re studying…”

Next to our verse we have our prayer focus.  I blotted out the names we have up there right now to protect privacy, but we talk about it as a family and decide together who we can be praying for in a special way.

And you know what?  Kids get it!  They really do.

Be encouraged, moms and dads and those of you with special kids in your lives.  Your efforts at home–even when they seem to go in one ear and out through a sassy mouth–do matter.  And if you’re walking it–they’ll remember it.

Do you have a great idea to share? Leave a comment or email me privately; maybe I’ll contact you to be a guest blogger for me in a future Family Friday!